The inevitability that persons will experience challenging and difficult times at various points throughout their lives is not debatable. Equally true is that persons have multiple and often hidden talents, skills, and wherewithal to respond skillfully, wisely, and in ways that promote healing irrespective of obstacles that come in front of them.
Even in the face of seemingly insurmountable barriers and perceived or real setbacks, whether intra-personal, interpersonal, familial, community, physical health, mental health, educational, social, political, or spiritual, people often discover much about themselves. They find out that they can assess circumstances and situations; devise strategies or road maps that allow them to see their way forward; find strengths to step into the challenge moving wisely through the “mess”; lock in memories of successes of their emotional journey that they can then call upon when future challenges arise; and create “messages” about their challenges and responses to it from which others who hear their story will benefit. In short, survivors frequently learn how to turn life’s “mess” into healing messages.
October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Celebratory messages from survivors were abundant and their individual and collective stories of ongoing successes remind all others who continue to witness their “second chance at life” opportunities that personal abilities to “step up and step out” are within each of us. Survivors often continue to model how to turn stumbling blocks into stepping-stones. They realize that life isn’t about waiting for storms to pass. They’ve embraced a belief that life is about learning how to dance in the rain!
Themes for “awareness” months and appreciation weeks and days are numerous. The very short list of topical foci includes opportunities to illuminate, commemorate, and celebrate culture, children, climate change, crime, disabilities, domestic violence, elderly, front-line workers, first responders, heritage, military families, mental health, nutrition, physical fitness and sports, physical health, sexual identity, and teacher appreciation, to name a few. Though varied in content and activities that sharpen focus of asserted messages, all content and related activities invite persons to consider important messages of hope, captured in an oft heard mantra: when looking toward the light you can’t see a shadow. Stated in another way, opportunities for self-reflection are abundant during times of adversity, chaos, and controversy. Looking for said opportunities in the least likely place or during times when emotional exhaustion looms, results, time and again, in discovering, “I am able to find or make a way, out of no way?”
Experiencing these “light bulb” moments of insight and hope fuels movement from “pain to power.” These “Aha!” moments of hope also serve as reminders of innate human abilities to find solutions despite the complexities associated with life’s courses and obstacles that require navigation often through uncharted territory. A layer of emotional self-protection, coupled with a measure of clarity about purpose and a “call” to serve others represent additional byproducts of self-reflection.
The motley collection of circumstance and situations many of which persons don’t ask for or otherwise anticipate is an inescapable part of human experiences. Truthfully, some of the circumstances and situations are rooted in longstanding, socially sanctioned and systemic inequities, and injustices. Even when acknowledging and appreciating these contextual realities, however, the forementioned choice to see the light in darkness, the visibility in what appears to be invisible, or the quiet in every storm, remains forever in play.
So, when windows of opportunity appear, not surprisingly in the form of crises or trauma, don’t pull down the shades. Work with intention to resist seeing the difficulty in every situation. Rather, choose to see the opportunity in every difficulty. It is important to acknowledge that making lifestyle changes such as developing and maintaining post-COVID-19 routines (e.g., working virtually, honoring exercise routines, nutritional regimens, faith-based practices, self-care pursuits, communal care practices, or breaking addictions) can sometimes feel difficult, burdensome, and not worth the effort and sacrifice. Despite these temptations to not even start, or quit once you’ve already begun, push through moments of resistance. The benefits you seek are often closer than you think.
Until next time …